Thursday, June 24, 2010

Make Up Your Mind

You either want me or you don't,
I want you to love me but you won't.
Do you see?
What you are doing to me.
All the pain you cause,
But you still expect my applause.

Well I'm done,
I hope you had all your fun.
I've had enough of wasting my time,
So now you need to Make Up Your Mind.
You either want me or you don't...

When some one is an influence on your life it's hard to cut them out. No matter how much pain I am caused, I just can't seem to let them go. I wonder if I should feel ashamed, stupid or if I should actually hate myself for it all. I've tried and they don't put in any effort at all. Now I am putting my foot down and all this is going to stop, now all that needs to be done is for you to Make Up Your Mind.

Friday, June 18, 2010

How this Grace thing works...?

Ok, so my last post or two have been related to religion and beliefs but that is what has been on my mind.

How does one believe?
How does one know what to believe?
How does one keep believing?
How does one know what to believe?

I have alot of respect for someone who has faith and/or a religion. To be able to believe that there is someone who watches over us and takes care of us must be an amazing feeling.
A feeling that I wish I knew, but my head always leans to the "yes, but what about..."

Ending with two questions today...
Do you believe?
What do you believe?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Man Upstairs

What makes us believe?
How do we know that this person even exists?
How do people keep their faith?
What helps people to keep their faith?

People believe in all sorts of different things. Some in higher places others that were simply less evolved than us.

Do I believe?
Do you believe?
All different things surround us. Life, death and everything before, after and in-between.
But did anyone else have a hand in all of this world?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Back To The Future...

Why is it that people are so obsessed with their futures?
People get so caught up in what they want in the future that they dont pay any attention to what they want now.

All I want in my future is fun and travel.

It also got me thinking why it is something that consumes people and why, if it doesn't work out people push and force it onto their children. You're children aren't you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People think that their entire life revolves around their future. Why can't people just look at their lives now and accept them for what they are now and enjoy themselves while they still can. By all means aspire to do something with your life and dream about what you could be but don't let it consume you, don't let it take away your life so that you can get something that may not be worth it in the end.

Appreciate what you have and don't take anything for granted. Live your life to the full and go out in style!!!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Those Three Words

I Love You....
Three words that are used so often that they have begun to lose all meaning.

Three words that are simply thrown around.
Three words that shouldn't be used unless they are meant and felt.

Three words that can make someone feel as though they are the luckiest person in the world but can also turn someone away.

Love is complicated and hard to understand.

It makes people think about their past, about the world around them now and about their future.

What is Love?
Who do you Love?
Why do you Love them?
How do you really know that you Love them?


When an idea turns out to be impossible it tends to have a neghative effect and often leads to making you feel awful.

Then you're left to face it alone and you die a little inside.

You know that things in your life are bad when this becomes a frequent occurance.

Life is bigger than a nut shell and you have to break out of it sometime.

You have to face the big bad world, you have to get knocked downs so that you have the chance to get yourself back up again.

You need to learn and find out what scares you so that you have the chance to be brave.
Life is full of mysteries and wonders.

Explore them now while you have the chance because time runs out and so do chances.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Bang Bang

My heart is aching and my head is pounding.
I dont' know what I can do.
I feel alone, I'm getting cold and my life is flashing before my eyes.
A shot echoes through my body and I feel my muscles tighten.
My feet are stuck on the ground and I can't move!
I feel them getting closer and I close my eyes and tell myself it's all just a dream.
If only that were true, then I'd still be alive.....

Dear Dan....

I'm so sorry that I never replied!!!! I feel terrible, so I decided that if you still read my page that you deserved a post all about you!

A girl is like a porcelain doll;
She has hair, eyes, a name abd she is fragile.
She is SO beautiful that you just have to have her! You can't get enough.
But sometimes she is just out of reach.

To like a girl you have to care for her, you have to care for her before you know what's wrong. You have to dry her eyes before she's even started to cry.
She has to know how you feel so that she has the chance to feel the same way.

A girl is a flower in an enchanted garden and you need to protect her from the harsh, cold winter.

....get to know her, tell her how you feel and always remember to be yourself...

P.S. I apologise again Dan... but I hope this can help and even if it won't with the girl you wrote to me about I hope that it can help in the future and I thank you sooooooooo much for your early support

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Well it's 2010 and nothing has changed since the last time I blogged. Oh except for things between me and Billie, she was a total slag and I cut her loose, she now has no friends and it couldn't make me happier. I know how horrible that sounds but it is the only way I can move on, she did it all to herself.

High school is behind me and I've started College. My life has started over, so it seems. I've met some amazing people and made new friends, a task that I often find tedious and painful.

English.. A subject I normally love has currently turned into a subject that I hate. Oral Presentations. I hate standing in front of a room full of people, with everyone staring and snickering as you speak. Just thining about it my chest starts to tighten and my head starts spinning. It doesnt feel like it will stop, if it spins any further I just might lose it!!!! I can't bare the madness that is my life and I cant bare the pain that it all causes.

Why is it the bad things always seem to trump the good, and why is it that no one can see how much my life actually sucks!!!!!!!!!!


I'd Rather Be Hated For Who I Am Than Liked For Someone I'm Not...