Those Three Words

I Love You....
Three words that are used so often that they have begun to lose all meaning.

Three words that are simply thrown around.
Three words that shouldn't be used unless they are meant and felt.

Three words that can make someone feel as though they are the luckiest person in the world but can also turn someone away.

Love is complicated and hard to understand.

It makes people think about their past, about the world around them now and about their future.

What is Love?
Who do you Love?
Why do you Love them?
How do you really know that you Love them?

Ideas

When an idea turns out to be impossible it tends to have a neghative effect and often leads to making you feel awful.

Then you're left to face it alone and you die a little inside.

You know that things in your life are bad when this becomes a frequent occurance.

Life is bigger than a nut shell and you have to break out of it sometime.

You have to face the big bad world, you have to get knocked downs so that you have the chance to get yourself back up again.

You need to learn and find out what scares you so that you have the chance to be brave.
Life is full of mysteries and wonders.

Explore them now while you have the chance because time runs out and so do chances.

Bang Bang

My heart is aching and my head is pounding.
I dont' know what I can do.
I feel alone, I'm getting cold and my life is flashing before my eyes.
A shot echoes through my body and I feel my muscles tighten.
My feet are stuck on the ground and I can't move!
I feel them getting closer and I close my eyes and tell myself it's all just a dream.
If only that were true, then I'd still be alive.....

Dear Dan....

I'm so sorry that I never replied!!!! I feel terrible, so I decided that if you still read my page that you deserved a post all about you!

A girl is like a porcelain doll;
She has hair, eyes, a name abd she is fragile.
She is SO beautiful that you just have to have her! You can't get enough.
But sometimes she is just out of reach.

To like a girl you have to care for her, you have to care for her before you know what's wrong. You have to dry her eyes before she's even started to cry.
She has to know how you feel so that she has the chance to feel the same way.

A girl is a flower in an enchanted garden and you need to protect her from the harsh, cold winter.

....get to know her, tell her how you feel and always remember to be yourself...

P.S. I apologise again Dan... but I hope this can help and even if it won't with the girl you wrote to me about I hope that it can help in the future and I thank you sooooooooo much for your early support

2010

Well it's 2010 and nothing has changed since the last time I blogged. Oh except for things between me and Billie, she was a total slag and I cut her loose, she now has no friends and it couldn't make me happier. I know how horrible that sounds but it is the only way I can move on, she did it all to herself.

High school is behind me and I've started College. My life has started over, so it seems. I've met some amazing people and made new friends, a task that I often find tedious and painful.

English.. A subject I normally love has currently turned into a subject that I hate. Oral Presentations. I hate standing in front of a room full of people, with everyone staring and snickering as you speak. Just thining about it my chest starts to tighten and my head starts spinning. It doesnt feel like it will stop, if it spins any further I just might lose it!!!! I can't bare the madness that is my life and I cant bare the pain that it all causes.

Why is it the bad things always seem to trump the good, and why is it that no one can see how much my life actually sucks!!!!!!!!!!

Why..?

Why is it that we think that we know what love is?
Does anyone?

Why is it that as teenagers we insist on falling in love and staying with that person until we grow old and live a full life only dying once we've done so and being happy in the face of death?

Loss is big,
Loss is scary,
Why do we insist on having it in our lives?

I'm going to leave you with one final though for today....
You'll have to think about it and for as long as you're thinking about it, it is possible you will never find the answer...
So answer my question if you can....

Why?

Death

It lurks, it hides, and it waits in the shadows.
It follows us wherever we go, we run, but we can not hide,
Death will always find us.

The ines we grow to know and love are snatched from our hands and taken for what feels like forever, where do we go?
What do we do?

How is it fair that we do not get the chance to say good-bye?
How can this be "Gods will"?
If there was a God wouldn't he/she want everyone to be happy?
For no one to be in pain?
For there to be peace and harmony in the world?

Why must we live like this?
Why does it all have to hurt so much?

We will miss you for what will feel like forever and may the angels take care of you.
May there be no more pain.
I will not say good-bye but see you later,
I will see you again someday, when I do not know,
Nor do I know how,
But we will meet again and stay forever....